1. Get replies from the scammer.  [Done]
2. Postpone a reply and See if they actively pursued me. [Done]
3. Set up a free online voicemail and get them to leave me a voice mail. [Nope]
4. Have fun. [Kinda]
5. Embarrass them. [Who cares]

So I got kinda pissed when I found out the PrivatePhone was canceled and finding another free online voicemail that gave a local number was… boring. So here are the replies I got back from Stella.

Dear Rusty,

Thanks for your mail and i want you to understand that the transaction demands total cooperation and support to enable me present the relevant information regarding this transfer.And i need a honest and sincere person that will not fail along the process of this transaction,i needed to hand over this business at your disposal as my foreign beneficiary that will be recieving my money on my behalf  before coming to the state to invest with the fund.

And pls i will love to have the following details about you,like your Full name ,home address,age and phone number to enable my attorney get in tounch with you for further process inorder to meet up with the security company demands.

Thanks for accepting to help me and thank God also that i meet the right person that i can possiblely trust. And who will take good care of me and my younger sister as we have no other person to trust on,but you and our God who have not fail us.I have been convince in my mind to handle over this onus or responsibility to you because of your capability and trust i have on you,believing that you will not fail our trust on you.

Moreover,I live at Akwa Anambra state,No 8 ziks avenue akwa city.I have to change my father place to stay with my younger one because of the crisis in the family after the lost of our father and always remember the situation of the royal kingdom where there is many wives and children.My mother been the last wife has nothing much to contribute or any share of the property as it was a cat and dog affair.But the only thing will possess now is that deposit made on my behalf by my late father base on the smooth relationship and love which existed between them.And sometime i used to admit that my father may have forseen the future and condition of his royal home if it happen that he is no more and that is the major reason why he commited this deposit on my behalf so that me and my younger sister will not suffer much.There is nothing to fear since every relevant legalities is with my attorney who has promise to assist me to see that the transaction go successfully.This attorney was introduced to me by my mother before she left us and he is a very good man,he has been taking good care of us and sometime he normally sent us money to pay for my younger one school fees.I will hand over his contact to you after introducing you to him and i want you to know that i wish to change my milieu to your state to enable me engage on new business  and also to change school for my younger one.But i still want to further my Education and remember that i trust much on you from now and take me as your own daughter and do not fail me.Pls explain more about yourself to me ,are you married,any kids,occupation and wife.

May God Bless You.

Your  Sincerely,
Miss Stella.

And the second one…

Dear Rusty,

How is today? I have not heard from you as we both agreed on base on the urgent attention needed to enable me successful transfer my fund as soon as possible.And this can only went through or possible especially when you as my Foreign beneficiary cooperate and support me.

Pls am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible and remember our condition here.I need to change my milieu once this deposit is transfer to your personal account and i will also love invest part of the money in the family business on agreement and table discussion so that i can also learn more about the business.Pls am also ready to compensate you for every help that was render to me at this moment of hard experience.

Have a nice day.

Your Faithfully,
Miss Stella.

Needless to say these are scams… Please expand on my escapades…

Dear Friend,

I am Stella UJUNWA CHINWETA daughter of Chief Chris CHINWETA, the king of Ogoni Kingdom. I am 17 Years old and an undergraduate of Mass Communication. My Father was the king of Ogoni Kingdom the highest oil Producing area in Nigeria. He was in charge of Receiving Royalties from the ulti-national oil Companies and government on behalf of the Oil Producing Communities in Nigeria.

After the hanging of The Ogoni Nine (9) including Ken Saro Wiwa for speaking out against the environmental ecological effects, my father suffered Stroke and eventually he died November 15th 2003. But before his death, he called me secretly and told me in confidence that he has the sum of Twenty Three Million Five Hundred and Sixty Thousand Dollars (USD11, 560,000.00) deposited, with one of the leading banks in Africa.

He advised me not to tell anybody except my mother who is the last wife of the (8) eight wives that he married. My mother did not bear any male child for him. This implies that in all my fathers’ properties, companies’ e.t.c, we have no share in them because my mother has No Male child according to African Tradition. My father therefore secretly gave me all the relevant Documents regarding the said money deposited in the bank, and told me that I should Use this money with my mother and my younger sisters because he knows that traditionally, if he dies we cannot get anything, as inheritance. Though my beloved mother died last year, she suffered high blood pressure due to the humiliation we suffered from the entire family members.
Please bear with me that I don’t hear clearly, but we can still arrange for the transfer. He importantly advised me that I should seek foreign assistance and that I should not invest this money here in Nigeria

Because of his other wives and male children who happen to be my elders.Hence, I am soliciting for your immediate assistance to enable us MOVE this money from the bank here to you if you can promise to be Reliable and Trustworthy. Then once the money gets to your hands, you will first procure a Bungalow for us wherein we Will live with my two younger sisters and Further advise me where and how I will invest the balance money overseas, possibly on products of your Company and other profitable ventures.

I believe that by the special grace of God, you will help us move this money out of Nigeria to any country of your Choice where we can invest this money judiciously with you. You are entitled to a reasonable part of this Money based on our agreement, and God will bless you as you help us.
Please reply through my e-mail looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible. I will tell you more about this when you reply.

Please if you are not interested let me know, keep this to your self and delete please for our security.

Best regard,
STELLA UJUNWA CHINWETA

And my reply.

Dear Stella,

I’m am very sorry for you loss and I pray that your mourning will soon pass…

I have studied the culture of several Nigerian tribes and I understand you dilemma with inheritance issues. I would more than happy to help as long as there are not any laws broken, and of course I will need compensation for acting as an agent to deal with such large sums of money. I will also need to know where you would like this Bungalow. I recommend Nassau, Bahamas.. the weather is perfect!

Anyway please just reply to this email with more information so I can make a decision as to help you.

With Sympathy for you Loss,

Rusty J. Shackelford

Now we wait

Update: I thought I would include one of my old favorite videos by Ze Frank this was made back in 2004. View it below or on his page.

So there was this great offer that I’ve been watching for about 3 months… solid conversion rates at 11-18%, pretty good price in the PPC networks for the keywords, nice payout, and just a great product. So I build this nice landing page/mini-site with php rotating html automatically optimized to style with best click through rate, conversion tracking, dynamic keyword insertion… the works… So I started sending targeted traffic to it, and got a couple of conversions…. then poop. For like two day, lots of traffic no conversions… NONE! That really gets to me considering I was counting at least a 5% cr… So yesterday I said screw it and scrapped the whole site and started from scratch. I spent about an hour designing a mini-site in Dreamweaver (it’s UGLY), then wrote all my copy and ftp’d to my server. Today I’m seeing what I wanted… conversions.

On that offer I had an eCPC of $2.30. And spending $.05-.40 a click. Thats pretty dam good. My revelation is that people want ugly sites. I also made the big change by adding a “how is this done” section. Pretty much I explained the offer in detail to the end user, no bullshit.

Anyway I’m embarking on an experiment to test effectiveness of landing pages tested under identical conditions. I’ll upload some plans for it tomorrow!

So the two (very simple) methods I’ll use are…

1. Buy Flyers
2. Bribe students that run high member groups

I’ll also use a redirect to track the Flyers so I can differentiate between the referrals, also I will be using Google Analytics to track the results. I’ll start my research tonight and begin emailing admins tomorrow. Till then, adieu.